Discussing Hearing Aids with a Loved One
Perhaps one of the greatest challenges in the world of hearing loss is for a spouse or partner to convince the other that they need hearing aids. In some respects, this has similarities to confronting an aging parent who should stop driving. Emotions can run deep in the face of continual resistance. Concern grows for safety and or health, as can frustration and hurt. I understand well that there is no easy path here. My husband didn’t seek help until I took my own hearing test and he was invited to also. He couldn’t deny the results which revealed what he may have been sensing for several years.
According to an AARP publication in 2019, a study published in the International Journal of Audiology, reported that “80% of adults between the ages of 55 and 74 who would benefit from wearing a hearing aid don’t use them.” Some are in denial, for others it’s a matter of vanity or cost, to name a few reasons. So, what’s the answer? Find a moment when neither of you are feeling stressed and then have “the talk.” Seek to keep the mood calm and non-confrontational by gently commenting on some hearing problems you are noticing with them and asking why they don’t want to see a doctor. Then, consider the following tips:
1) Tout the benefits - Prevents falls, improves your mood, reduces the sense of isolation, improves brain power including function and working memory, may decrease the risk of dementia, can strengthen relationships. (To learn more visit AARP’s Hearing Resource Center.)
2) Mention the nifty high-tech features such as Bluetooth connection that streams sound from a smartphone, laptop or TV directly into hearing aids; a personal interpreter of other languages when you travel; a fall alert
3) Break down the cost - a pair of aids at $4,600 worn 12 months a year for five years is approximately $75/month, or $2.50/day.
4) Make it personal - their hearing problem also affects you and your family. Consider listing how you are impacted and how you accommodate your loved one’s loss; keep a journal to show them how often they ask that you repeat something, or when they make the TV too loud.
5) Be a third-party advocate - offer to accompany your loved one to the audiologist.
If your loved one still resists, back off. Seeking treatment can only succeed if they want it. To learn more about hearing loss investigate the resources of AARP and the Hearing Loss Association of America.